Angel
by MeredithBrody
Summary: On her birthday, Merri thinks about the one person she always shared that day with


**So, in around 45 minutes this went from me shouting "why did this song come on?" at PinkAngel17 to a completed fic... and I didn't realised how apparently this was a story I really needed to tell. The song is "Angel" by The Corrs.  
Maybe it's the situation going on with my own sister, or maybe it's just that I was feeling a bit angsty still after Tuesday's episode... but this happened. There is no pairing, it's literally just Merri thinking about Emily. This is also my 30th published NOLA fic! That happened fast! Anyway, enjoy, as always please read and review!  
Shin xx**

* * *

 _ **She lived like she knew nothing lasts  
Didn't care to look like anyone else  
And she was beautiful, so beautiful  
I still hear her laugh, like she's here**_

* * *

Emily had been playing on Meredith's mind all day. She knew that the problem was that it was her birthday, their birthday. Her first since she'd moved to New Orleans. Normally she was alone on her birthday, by choice. She'd call her parents and they'd share some memories of Emily, then she'd drink until she was asleep. It had been a ritual she'd started the first birthday after Emily died, and it had lasted until today.

It was the 8th birthday since Emily died. Their 38th. Merri could remember their last shared birthday. It had been a huge party their parents had arranged with their partners. James had been on an assignment at the time, and had surprised her by jumping out at the party. It had been one of the happiest days of her life. Of course that had been before Emily had died, and her life had slowly imploded.

Today though, Pride had refused her the day off, claiming that they needed her. She didn't see why as they didn't have a case, but he'd been insistent. Of course he'd known it was her birthday, and of the people in the New Orleans office, he was probably the only one who knew she had a sister. Or, more correctly, had _had_ a sister. Bringing Emily up in conversation the way LaSalle brought up his sister or Cade wasn't the way she worked, it hurt too much for that.

So instead of being at home, drinking herself into unconsciousness as was her usual plan, she was sat in the office, being presented with gifts from her colleagues, the people who she would normally hide from had teamed up to try and make sure that she had a good day. She was even managing to enjoy herself. She could feel Pride watching her, and she wondered if he was concerned about her.

Maybe he'd refused her request because he knew what she'd do. He'd learnt plenty about her in the months since she'd move to New Orleans, and she had let him get closer to her than almost anyone else on the planet. He got her, and that was such a very rare thing. She hadn't had someone understand her the way Pride did since Emily had died.

Once the impromptu party had broken up and people had started heading home she'd stayed with him, helping him clean up around the office. As if she needed reminding of how well Pride understood her, she didn't need to say or do anything before he asked her the question she'd been dreading, but she knew she'd speak. "Tell me about her?"

What could she say about Emily that wouldn't sound like a cliché? When they'd been kids Emily had always been the carefree one. She had genuinely lived like every day on the planet was her last. Back in those days she'd made Merri far more adventurous too. It had been hard not to be bitten by the bug that was Emily Brody.

When they were 13, she'd discovered a way to seamlessly mix bohemian flower princess and goth, and at that point they'd all known that as a person Emily was probably too much to deal with. She could mix and blend things that should never have ever been in the same universe, and that had always been something that she'd been jealous of. Emily had been musical, artistic and free thinking. The things Merri definitely hadn't been.

Those were the things that had made Emily beautiful. While physically, Merri and Emily had been close to identical. They had been mirror twins with different coloured eyes. That was really the only difference. Once upon a time they had been described by a friend. Merri had been told her beauty came from her concentration and intensity, while Emily's came from her innocence and her sweetness. It as something Merri could agree with.

Most striking of their differences though was their laughs. Merri had a dirty laugh, she knew that and often embraced it. It made jokes seem even funnier when she let her laugh go with them. Emily's had been so much sweeter, a lilting, quiet and high thing that completely fit her personal style. Some days when Merri told a joke, or heard something that reminded her of Emily, she swore she could still hear that laugh.

* * *

 _ **Does the sun shine up at you when you're looking down  
Do you get along with the others around**_

* * *

Since Emily had died, Merri had often wondered if she was looking down on their family and friends from whatever afterlife she was in. Having been brought up in a religious boarding school, she knew what the scripture they'd been taught said, and in some small ways, it did actually make Merri feel better thinking of her sister in heaven.

Was the sun shining on Emily Brody at the same time as it shone on her sister. Or was it permanently shining on her. Did she sometimes have to fight the glare to see what Meredith was doing? Did she look down on everyone she'd ever known, or did she just pick her favourites. Knowing Emily as Merri had done, she knew her sister would try to help as many people as she possibly could. That was the person she was.

Every day since getting the news that her twin sister had died, Merri had thought in a morning about how she was lucky to still be alive, and every night as she laid down she thanked Emily for the blessings and opportunities she had. No matter the pain and suffering she went through herself, she had been blessed.

In a way, Emily had been what had brought her to New Orleans. After the _Moultrie_ , and everything else that had happened in her life, she'd never felt like she could settle somewhere. Everywhere had felt oppressive, or uncomfortable. She might not have liked the place, or she might had struggled to combine with the people in the city.

In all her life, Emily had never had that problem. She had gotten along with almost everyone she had ever met. When someone met Emily they had seemed to just respond to her with a minimum of fuss or problem. They had just seen her, and she had been perfectly acceptable to them. Merri had always been more polarising. Nobody knew where they stood with the slightly older Brody twin.

So something had always made Merri run, most of the time she hadn't known what until she'd already put in a transfer request. She'd never let anyone get in and see the true person who was Meredith Brody until she had landed in the NOLA office. Then she'd met the strangest people she could imagine in this line of work, and felt completely accepted. They barely knew anything about her, but they'd accepted her anyway.

LaSalle reminded her of Emily in some ways, he had the same sarcastic humour and love of teasing her. Sebastian reminded her of Emily in a whole other way. His desire to want to help anyone and everyone, and how uncomfortable he acted when something threatened their family was so completely like Emily. Loretta was like her cool aunt, someone she could go to with any problem and know that no matter what she would help. While Pride was the kindest person she'd ever met, and the first person who she had let in completely in eight years.

So really, Emily was the reason she had settled her. In all the places she'd lived, she'd never been reminded of her sister before. Then she met two people in a very short space of time who had done just that. That was when she truly knew this was where she was meant to stay. This was where she was destined to settle. This was it. The overwhelming memories of Emily were enough to see to that.

It was at that moment Meredith Brody realised she hadn't been running away from anything at all. She'd been running toward the only home and family she'd ever known. Emily had brought her here, and would no doubt be proud to know that her sister was being cared for by people who truly loved her. That was Emily all over, and Merri knew that no matter where she went in the world, she would never meet someone else like Emily. So they were all things she could tell Pride, and then she could move on to everything else, all the other things that Emily had done, all the other things Emily had been. "She was amazing, Dwayne. I'll never meet anyone like her."

* * *

 _ **And when I go to sleep at night  
I'll thank you for each blessed thing surrounding me  
For every fall I'll ever break  
Each moment`s breath I wanna taste**_


End file.
